What Happens Now by Jennifer Castle

Author:Jennifer Castle
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2016-03-27T16:00:00+00:00

13

We didn’t speak as Camden drove Max’s car out of the fairgrounds parking lot.

In the strange and also strangely intimate minutes that followed, I stared out the window and thought about how getting to know someone is all about learning and unlearning at the same time. For every piece of new information you gain about that person, you might have to let go of something you thought was true.

Finally he asked, “So, that guy from your school we ran into. He was someone, right?”

“Ex-boyfriend,” I said.

Camden nodded. “You don’t have to tell me the story. Unless it’ll make me feel better.”

“I was the one who ended it.”

A pause. “That makes me feel better.”

We were silent the rest of the drive. Camden seemed lost inside himself, sloshing around in places I had no access to.

When we got to the Barn, I followed Camden to the porch, where he stooped to fish a house key out from under the cushion of the wicker sofa. His Azor uniform was long gone. Now he wore only his white T-shirt and black pants and boots, and I couldn’t help thinking that half of him had been stripped away.

The house was eerily quiet without the voices and the music, the whirr of Eliza’s sewing machine. Once inside, I closed the door behind us. The sound of it seemed to startle him. I thought maybe he’d forgotten I was there, too. But he turned and looked at me, then held out both hands.

I took them.

“You’ve never seen my room,” he said, his voice rough like he was struggling to retrieve it.

My stomach lurched. “No.”

He tugged me toward the staircase, walking backward.

“Is it okay if I show you my room?” he asked.

“Yes,” I squeaked.

I’d been in this situation before. Knowing you’re there for the wrong reason. So aware that the way you want something is completely screwed up, but not caring. Sometimes wanting is a buy now, pay later deal.

I knew I should tell him to stop, that we needed to talk about the whats and the whys.

I could not.

When we got to the stairs, he let go of one hand to walk forward, but kept the other. We walked like that to the top, past the big picture window, across the landing. Through the door Camden opened for me.

He stood aside so I could look around. The room was small, with a slanted ceiling and a skylight. Each wall was painted a different color: forest green, teal blue, burgundy, and white. The combination felt random, yet harmonious. In one corner was his bed, which I only glanced at quickly before feeling my skin flush. It was just a tiny twin, but it may as well have been a king-size water bed with velvet pillows and fur throws, under a banner that said SEX! in fifty-point font.

An overpacked bookcase filled the opposite wall. A beanbag chair sat in the corner, his laptop sunk into it. He had no posters or pictures up. Only a huge map of the world, dotted with plastic thumbtacks.

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